Ravi Zacharias: How Male Entitlement Hurts Men Too

Christians are stoically riding out another public clobbering as details emerge in the sexual allegations against the late minister, Ravi Zacharias. Reeling from the findings of an independent investigation commissioned by Zacharias’ own ministry, people are questioning how a Christian apologist, who argued with eloquence and conviction for the reality of a Divine Moral Law Giver, could have inflicted pain onto so many women, leaving his family and colleagues in an aftershock of destruction.

Considering this freshest of headline-making sexual scandals to plague the Church, perhaps it’s time to focus less on the individual actions of these fallen male leaders and more on the collective worldview which accommodated their unhampered abuse. Movements such as #Metoo and #Churchtoo exposed the underbelly of Christian sexual culture, with necessary focus landing on the relationship between systems of religious power and female objectification and subordination. However, less focus was applied to how this systematic gender hierarchy subtly and slowly dehumanizes males, even as it empowers them.

Male entitlement is nothing new in the Church. According to countless popular Christian sex and marriage books, a husband should be sexually satisfied at all times and in every way. By virtue of his maleness alone, his sexual desires are to be catered to, much like physical hunger. Wives are warned that sexual negligence means risking their husbands’ fidelity and love. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to hear this ethos reflected in Zacharias’ communications with his victims. Citing scripture, Zacharias compared his extra-marital sexual encounters to the polygamous relationships of ancient Jewish patriarchs and referred to these instances as his “reward.”

It’s no stretch to connect mainstream Christian teachings on sex and marriage to the sexual behaviors of disgraced Christian leaders. These prominent men didn’t develop their attitudes toward sex in a vacuum. Their sense of entitlement in leadership generated entitlement in other areas of their lives, including power, money and sex. Ravi Zacharias has also been accused of misappropriating funds and abusing his position of authority within his ministry context. In situations such as these, entitlement is but a symptom of the larger, malignant malady of pride.

Entitlement outwardly cries, “I’m owed!” because the heart is already inwardly crying, “I’m superior!”

Entitlement is antithetical to the gospel of Christ, which instructs disciples to take the last seat at the table even when the first seat is empty. Followers of Jesus are taught to achieve prominence by becoming nominal. Therefore, when self-importance generates entitlement, a heart posture inimical to the way of Christ is the result.

Sexual entitlement sneaks in an extra-nefarious outcome because the entitled person is slowly divested of his full humanity. Instead of enjoying self-giving love, he opts for selfish and demanding playacting. In an excruciating twist of irony, the entitled becomes less dignified as he shrinks to the size of his impulses. He becomes limited to an empty version of what was intended to be voluminous, leaving him painfully isolated and hopelessly dissatisfied.

Entitlement dangles the bait of empowerment to men of faith, only to leave them doubly removed from the foundation of Christianity. The notion that they are owed prevents them from loving God, while the idea that they are superior inhibits them from loving others. Instead of experiencing maleness as a unique and beautiful reflection of an aspect of God’s image, maleness is used as a means of establishing a system of power that imprisons.

The Church must soberly appraise the scale and cost of entitlement. After all, it was an atheist who ultimately kept Zacharias accountable, not his own staff or the Christians who followed and funded him. It was an atheist who believed Zacharias’ accusers and who scrutinized his life for congruence, while Christians maligned one of his victims and defended him instead. Zacharias was living a life severed from God, himself and others and the only ones who noticed were from outside the Church.

As Zacharias lay dying, people all over the world flooded his social media accounts with words of gratitude for the impact he made with his ministry. Videos showed Zacharias receiving this love and praise with tearful eyes and a radiant smile. Only weeks before, this same man was receiving nude selfies from women across the world. He carried this secret to the grave. He died in a state of separation. No one knew him, and the terrifying reality is that he didn’t even know himself. The cost of male entitlement is steep, requiring a human soul meant for connection and mutuality to be reduced to the demands of maintaining superiority.

Beyond our reach and our questions, Ravi Zacharias is no more a spiritual father but is now merely a cautionary tale. Though perhaps, if we’re willing to ask hard questions, he has lessons yet to teach. Theological and ministerial systems built upon gender hierarchy and subordination don’t only hurt women, they isolate and de-humanize men as well.

Far from the sad and reduced situation that results when we use power and authority to isolate from one another, God’s vision for His Church, and the kingdom He is ushering into this broken world, is one of mutual love and submission. It’s one of care and honesty and transformation. It’s one of collective carrying of burdens and accountability.

God’s vision for His people includes Spirit-filled women and men and children, all valued and supported and esteemed, cheering each other on as we work together with God to create His new world. In a community like this, Ravi Zacharias could have experienced the power of confession, repentance, forgiveness and healing while he lived among us. He could have worked towards reconciliation and making amends before he drew his final breath.

Isn’t that a better story? Instead of a story filled with abuses of power, schizophrenic theology, and a trail of hurt and confused people, alignment with God’s holy and whole vision can provide us with something so much better – if only we will be brave enough to cast aside “business as usual” and re-imagine our relationships in the light of His love.